Marriage is not a financial decision
I read a lot these days about signing a pre-nuptial agreement with one’s future spouse or checking the credit report of a possible marriage partner. The character of your future spouse is a perfectly good thing to research, but a money can be a distraction from the purpose and heart of marriage.
I still have the possibly old-fashioned, but still biblical view that marriage is for life. The basic premise behind a pre-nuptial agreement is faulty, regardless of your net worth. I might even go so far as to advise a single person reconsider the decision to marry a future spouse who even mentions the idea of a pre-nuptial agreement.
As for checking the credit report of a future spouse: if your future spouse tells you that there are no former marriages or huge defaulted loans in his past and you cannot believe him without checking his credit report – why are you making a lifetime commitment to love, honor, trust, etc. in sickness and in health?! You have bigger problems than credit-worthiness.
The issue of so-called same-sex marriage is also too tied up in the finances. Gay couples make the argument for state recognition of their unions, not because it is morally right or wrong or they are in love or they want to spend the rest of their life with a particular person, but because “marital status” will give them certain financial advantages relating to taxes, insurance and the like. I am not necessarily endorsing or opposing gay marriage, that is the role of government, but to argue for civil recognition of a life commitment on the basis of monetary advantage calls into question the legitimacy of that union. It is analogous to a person adopting a child because they want the Earned Income Tax Credit. Financial advantage is not a good reason to enter into one of the most sacred of human contracts.
Marriage is marriage with or without government privilege. If government ended all deductions, should we stop having children? Should we stop giving if government no longer bestows tax advantages on such donations? Does God say, give to the local church – as long as you can claim the deduction? No. Some things in life are right and some things are wrong, no matter the financial consequences.
Get to know your future spouse, find out what you have in common. Talk life philosophy and child rearing styles. Your future spouse’s relationship with God is far more important than the size of his or her college loan balance. Prove the person’s character and measure your love for one another – for these are the things that marriage is all about.
Yes, finances are important in marriage and it is wise for you to talk about spending and saving and budgets, but remember that marriage is not a financial contract. It is a sacred institution and a lifetime commitment.
Article by Stew
Photo by mrflip
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