Comments on: I think my wife is going to work outside the home this year

By: lewagonee

lewagonee — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:57:48 +0000

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By: David

David — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 04:17:30 +0000

I think your best bet still is to stay at home. Especially if you are only getting a 40% increase. Clothes, gas, car, food, etc can pretty much eat that up quickly.

Maybe something out of the home could work better?

By: Gholmes

Gholmes — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 21:23:37 +0000

Have you read, “Your Money or Your Life”? If so calculate what your wifes true hourly rate will be. Factor in all the costs.

By the tone of the post sounds like going back to work for all the wrong reasons.

We have a one year old and wife quit work right before he was born. I do miss the extra $$$ but not worth the peace I know that his mommy is home watching him.

By: DDFD at DivorcedDadFrugalDad.com

DDFD at DivorcedDadFrugalDad.com — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 03:57:51 +0000

Tough call! The pros seem to favor all of you including the kids . . . they are the most important one in the decision.

By: suni

suni — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 21:04:47 +0000

I would rather be in debt and happy with a family who is happy than to be out of debt, have every material thing, and be miserable with a miserable family. We chose to homeschool and have me be a stay at home mother long before we had our son. He is 6 now and a light in our lives as well as for the Kingdom. I would not go back and trade that for all the money in the free world. My husband made less than 20K when we had our son. I am not going to say that times never got rough, but we made it through as a family and we are happier for it. It not only made us closer as a family, but made us stronger Christians. In the end, material things or lack thereof doesn’t count. The kids probably won’t remember the THINGS they didn’t have as long as they still have the memories of all the family times they DID have.

By: Megan

Megan — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 14:18:17 +0000

Wow, I really feel you on that potty training thing. My two and a half year old is in preschool and moves up to the next age group in September and needs to be potty trained by then. So I also have to potty train a two and a half year old by September even though I know he isn’t ready.
He wants nothing to do with the potty, but the key is consistency. Dad should take him with him to the bathroom whenever possible so he can lead by example. I know it involves a lot of clean up, but any time he is at home he should be wearing cloth training underwear so he can see what happens when he goes in his pants. I would also suggest leaving the pants off–it makes for less laundry and less layers to get through to get to the potty.
Just keep plugging away, you’ll get there eventually.
Good luck!

By: Mel

Mel — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 22:15:11 +0000

This may sound silly but ask your children how they feel too. Even young children can express their feelings about mommy being gone to work. Please do factor in their feelings. They matter more than any numbers on a piece of paper.

I babysat a friend’s two year old today. Now I’ve known this little girl all her life. We live two doors away from each other. When her mom left her here this morning though she cried for an hour because she just wanted her mommy. I sat and rocked her and consoled her until she fell asleep in my arms. When she woke up she just wanted me to hold her. Then she asked for the next two hours repeatedly when is mommy coming to pick me up. Having been a SAHM for 15 years my heart ached for this little one. Children need their mamas it’s how God meant it to be. I’m not saying they can’t enjoy playtime with other little children too. However when they are little they need their mommy. Cuddle time. Reading stories together. Walking to the park together. Honestly they still need this even when they’re teenagers. Maybe even more. I just can’t see anything we’ve “missed” out on in the last 15 years as being worth more than my children. And that includes retirement savings. Who knows if we’ll even still be walking this planet when that money comes into being used. So is it worth it to plan for tomorrow by missing out on today? (just to be clear I’m not say neglect future planning completely) What we do know is today we are parents…so that is our priority. The Bible says it best, “let today’s worries be sufficient for today.”

It seems that you have a lot of reasons that make this sound like a financially motivated move only. And for your wife to say other attempts at jobs have made her “miserable”…is it all really worth it? Look for the answer that brings the most peace to your household. This world is difficult enough. Don’t add more to the fire if you don’t have to.

I pray the right answer will be revealed to you. No matter which way it goes I pray for peace of heart to all of you. Love abounding and joy in exceeding proportions. God Bless.

By: SP

SP — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 18:49:54 +0000

As a kid, I had a much more fun time at day camps and pre-school than I can imagine my mom could have provided. I don’t get why parents get so hung up on sending their kids off into the world away from their care — kids love to play with other kids, why is this really a negative?

Other than that, this is a very difficult decision for each family. Best of luck with whatever choice you proceed with.

By: Kika

Kika — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 16:02:07 +0000

You don’t get this time back with your children. I am so not a fan of preschool and having to send kids off to camps, etc. b/c both parents are working. Having financial goals of being debt-free, etc. is honorable but, like us (SAHM/homeschooling family) and many others, it is possible to slowly work toward these goals and keep focus on family and relationships. Plus, there are more costs associated with two parents working full time than currently listed on your chart. Food costs will rise, stress will augment… in making this important and life-altering choice, please be totally honest with yoursleves about all the other “hidden” cost associated with this decision. I understand that it can be tough when you don’t always see how you’ll meet certain needs but I certainly have experienced God’s faithfulness in this area.

By: Tommy

Tommy — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:35:27 +0000

re: Lori Alexander’s comment on July 9th, 2009 at 4:36 pm pretty much sums it up.

So what’s more important – the material possessions or the relational and eternal possessions?

Remember the rich young ruler in Luke 18:20-24.

On Christ, the solid rock I stand. God Bless!