Good bye house
By glblguy
As I sit here in my favorite easy chair, typing away on my laptop in the cool quiet morning, I’m surrounded by cardboard. All of our belongings are safely packed away in various sized cardboard boxes. Our shelves are bare, cabinets empty, and surprisingly there are no toys on the floor. It’s all so weird. We’ve lived in this house for more than 11 years. We’ve brought 4 of our 6 children home to this house to raise them. We’ve watched them grow here inside these walls. Over those 11 years, this physical wooden box we call a house has managed to become a part of us. A place of safety and security. A place of laughter, sadness, of good times and bad.
Today we’ll be leaving that home. I thought it wouldn’t impact me. After all it’s just a house right? Dave Ramsey always advises his audience and readers to never get emotionally attached to house. I’m not sure that’s possible, at least for me. I’ve put a great deal of time and sweat into this home to make it just the way we wanted it. I know this house and know it well. I could turn off our lights to the point of not being able to see at all and safely walk to any place in it with little hesitation. I know it.
But in less than 3 hours, all of the boxes and furniture will slowly be moved out and into a truck to be taken to our new house some 3+ hours away. We’ll be leaving our home behind and it’s sad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited about our move and look forward to living in our new home in the mountains, but leaving this home behind is emotionally tough. Leaving it behind feels like we’re leaving a part of our family behind. I know that sounds a bit silly, but it’s the way I feel. Maybe I’ve just become too comfortable here.
Since my financial epiphany and since beginning to listen to Dave Ramsey, I’ve always tried to look at our house as nothing more than an asset. A large timber box on some property that provides us shelter and adds to my overall Net Worth. Sitting here in the still of the morning, knowing that this is the last time I’ll writing an article in this home, I realize this house is far more than just a shelter. This house far more than a timber box, but a small part of our family. It’s our home.
We have tons of wonderful memories here. Memories that will go with us to our new home, where I know we’ll create new memories, but that doesn’t really make me feel better this morning. Leaving this home is though. Far tougher than I thought it would be.
Don’t be fooled. If you live in a house, it quickly becomes a home. Once a home, it’s far more than an asset, an investment, or a wooden box. Your home becomes a part of you and you a part of it. I once heard someone say that an empty house has no soul. I fully understand that saying now.
Good bye house. You’ve been a good loyal friend. We’ll miss you. Please be as good to the new family that moves in as you have to us. Shelter them, protect them, and give them good memories. We’ll never forgot you.
Photo by: Menage a Moi
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:32 am
Best wishes on the move! I was sad when my mom sold our home and move to another state. So many good memories in that place. :)
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:55 am
I loved this post. I’m very sentimental. I think you absolutely get attached to homes. I have already made arrangements with my family that once my grandparents can no longer live in their home that it will stay in the family. I have more wonderful memories of that house that I can begin to describe. The thought of it not being in our family breaks my heart.
When my husband and I moved into our new house last month I was even a little sad to leave our crappy rental. I hated that place, but it was the first place we lived together and got our start. It still has happy memories.
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:18 am
No disrespect to Dave Ramsey – he’s got some very practical and applicable ideas – but I think he’s a bit out of touch on this. Perhaps for someone at his level, a house is just another asset and a temporary place to hang his hat.
A house is a truly significant investment for the majority of us and I’d speculate that most only ever make once or twice in their lifetime. And for most, I’d bet a house is as much a financial investment as it is an emotional one.
Like you, my wife & I have worked hard to make our house into a home – a place that’s warm, nurturing, comforting… How can you NOT get attached to something so momentous?
Perhaps for those in Ramsey’s bracket – who probably own multiple houses – this isn’t a big deal, but those people do not have the same frame of reference that we mere mortals have.
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:59 am
Loved your post as my wife and I are already discussing a downsize move in a few years from the home where we raised our kids. I encourage you to move quickly toward creating memories in your new home – family parties and special events – so that you can develop new emotional attachments.
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Ah.. I understand this feeling. I moved last year after living in the same apartment for 7 years. That place has its downs, but the memories are definitely irreplaceable….
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Great post, it reminds me of two years ago when my wife and I moved from our little townhouse where we’d moved in when we were married.
We loved the townhouse, and it was a part of us for 5 years. It was hard to leave. I remember sitting downstairs in that townhouse the last few mornings just enjoying the sunlight that used to come in the back window through the trees, and realizing how much I was going to miss that.
Of course now that we’ve been in our new house for 2 years, I can’t imagine living anywhere else.
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:09 pm
You can stop making me cry, any time now. :) We’re sending you some warm wishes to carry with you to your new home. I hope that the next family whose children will grow within those walls can give your old house just as many great memories as yours did.
GOOD LUCK!
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Best wishes with your move! Many people who haven’t moved in awhile forget the emotional aspect involved with it.
I’d like to recommend a book for your wife. It’s called “After the Boxes are Unpacked” by Susan Miller.
I’m going through the book right now (it has a Christian perspective) and I’m involved with a “Just Moved” class for other women who have recently moved.
It’s helped me tremendously!
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:40 pm
As I’ve said before, a house is an integral member of your family. It does more than just shelter you from the elements. It’s there as a witness to all the joys and pains your life brings; its walls absorb the raw emotion of life and will sing of it for ages. You can learn a lot about the previous inhabitants of a house just by listening to it and examining its character.
When my wife and I moved from our first house, it was an emotional moment. As I walked through and made sure I got everything, my mind was flooded with the memories associated with each room. If and when we move from our current home, it will certainly be the same. It’s ok to be emotionally attached to a house (once you own it, of course) because it’s not just an investment, it’s a family member.
Good luck on your move. We have been praying for you!
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Yeah – Dave said on the radio a while back that he and Sharon are building a new home right now. It will be interesting to see if he comments on this in the future.
October 24th, 2008 at 12:19 am
I totally understand where you’re coming from. We felt the same way (but maybe not quite as strongly), when we moved, and we were in a rental!
I hope that by now your kids are somewhat settled in their new rooms, you’ve found all the important stuff amidst the cardboard boxes, and you’ve had a moment to sit and relax in your new home. The rest of the unpacking will come in time.